'I think of my son'

I met Gretchen Whiting last summer at an interview for an article published in this magazine a year ago. Diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a form of skin cancer—Whiting was fighting for her life. And yet, she gently prodded the interview in a different direction—not so much about her, but quite a bit about things that showed her deep concern for others.

It wasn’t that she was uncomfortable talking about herself—about three years ago, Whiting began to speak publicly in support of research, the need for clinical trials and the importance of early detection. Yes, she had to work at it. It’s never easy putting oneself in the public eye, but she was game if it helped even one person.

These are some of the things that she told me last summer:

• What changed after I lost my hair was the looks of pity from strangers. Now, everyone knew I had cancer and figured I was facing a really tough battle. The hard part was that I wanted to reassure everyone that I was doing fine and had a lot of hope about being cured someday.
• Life is going on, and we’re living it. My son is a very happy, optimistic child. He understands what is happening with me, and he knows people are trying to make me better. Of course, he knows he has to wear sunscreen.
• I think of early cancer detection not in terms of how it didn’t work for me, but rather how it can be used to help others. I think of my son, who someday may benefit from these advances in research.

Whiting often spoke on behalf of the Hutchinson Center, and raised money for research as well. She and her family became the top fundraisers at the annual Shore Run/Walk to benefit early cancer-detection research at the Center.

Last year, she and her husband, Ren, launched the Love Your Shade Foundation to warn teenage girls and young women of the dangers of tanning and to promote melanoma research. She also wrote “Honeydew,” an essay about her experience published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cancer Book, published in March.

Whiting, 40, died on May 12 at her parents’ home near Seattle after a four-year struggle with cancer. In announcing the news, a Hutchinson Center colleague wrote, “Gretchen impressed her friends and family with her tenacity, positive outlook, unwavering sunny disposition, and sheer will. Her oncologist said that he’d never seen a person fight as hard as Gretchen did.”

It’s not surprising to hear that Whiting’s family plans to keep her foundation going. Her struggle, as she said last summer, was never just about her.