Talk to me: Communicating
Communication happens all the time, but it's not always effective.
Effective communication is more than an exchange of words. It
is successfully being understood and understanding others. Just
because you're talking to someone doesn't mean that you're getting
your thoughts across. There are three basic techniques that you
can use to become a more effective communicator: active listening,
validating and positive assertiveness.
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Hutch School needs tutors to help students with math/science
Do you like math and science?
Hutch School wants you.
The school, located at Pete Gross House, seeks volunteers
to be one-to-one tutors with students who are patients and family
members of patients.
The commitment is at least two hours a week. Ideally, tutors
meet students at Hutch School, although that can be flexible
if necessary.
Several Hutch staff serve as tutors and enjoy the experience.
Hutch School keeps a roster of available tutors and calls them
according to need.
Interested? Call Martha Bien at 325-1489.
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Active listening
Active listening conveys respect and interest for the views of
the other person. It involves putting aside your views and really
listening. Even if you disagree, give your full attention and
listen to the other person's point of view. Allow the other person
to talk and wait until he or she finishes before responding.
Hear what is being said. You will have a better understanding
of where the other person is coming from. Pay attention to how
it is said. For example, a person may say, "I'm not angry
with you," but his or her tone of voice and facial expressions
suggests real anger.
Validating
Validating is a way of demonstrating that you are an active listener.
By reassuring the other person that you understand his or her
point, you are successfully validating that person's feelings
and opinions. Successful validating involves repeating a summary
of what you think the other person said. Ask if your summary
is correct.
These two steps show that you respect the other person enough
to take the time to understand his or her point. For example,
when your spouse tells you that he is upset because he's always
the one who walks the dog, you might respond with, "You're
upset because you feel I haven't been doing my fair share of
work. Is this right?" Validating also helps people feel
confident in expressing their thoughts, an important element
in effective communication. Try it!
Positive assertiveness
Just as active listening and validating are important steps in
effective communication, positive assertiveness gives you an
effective way to respond when you don't agree with someone. When
you disagree, instead of not responding at all or responding
aggressively, try positive assertiveness as an alternative. It
involves hearing and validating what the other person is communicating.
State your position without attacking your listener.
An aggressive response such as, "I don't agree with you..."
may provoke your listener. However, an assertive response such
as, "I understand your point, but..." helps to keep
communication flowing.
Practicing positive assertiveness, along with the first two
techniques, active listening and validating, will help you become
a more effective communicator.
For more information on effective communication, call your
Employee Assistance Program (EAP) at 800-888-CARE. An EAP counselor
is available 24 hours a day to provide confidential assistance
(typically at no cost to you).